These 4 walls...

Why hello blog!!

I know I have gotten into a blogging ditch and can't seem to climb my way out. For a long time now I wonder if I should keep this blog going?? I have so much to say but no time to type it or I just don't know how to put it down on the screen. Do I keep my blog going? Are people reading it? Do certain people deserve to know how me and my family are doing? Ugg!

Awhile back I went threw a tough time. I don't think it was post pardom cause it was a long time after I had my second son but I went threw some big depression, for a few months. Maybe it was a late post pardom?? who knows cause I have never been threw it before but all I know is, I was sad.

And still to this day I sometimes just get into a slump where I feel like a slob, always wearing sweat pants, my hair a mess and stuck in 4 walls, my house a mess and I can't seem to keep up with it, not happy with my house even though its beautiful and new, not happy with the way I look after having children and the list really goes on and on. And I am so hard on myself when it comes to my photography. It is my passion and it is what I want to do in life but am I good enough? Yes I should be more positive but where I live there is seriously a photographer on every block of this city. Some days I wonder why I am not more busy? How do I make myself better then all the rest and stand out from the rest? I am so hard on myself and sometimes I think it effects my photography and my life. I think I should just let go and stop comparing myself to everyone else but how do you do that??? There are things in my life that I really need to deal with and learn to get past and let the pain go and maybe then I will be able to move on and succeed in life? Maybe I need to talk to someone about this? Sometimes friends don't understand like you want them to. I have alot of hurt and can't seem to get past it and I know people go threw hard times in there lives but how do you deal with it when its years of hurt?... I am now 28 years old and am just trying to figure that out now!

There are so many more things I wanna blog about but should I really open my self up to the outside world? Do I dare let my feelings out there??

But I do have a picture to share of my way to relieve stress! See below:

I finally started on my sleeve. This is just the outline but I am actually going back tomorrow to get it finished! I find that it sometimes helps get rid of stress and pain in my life, by receiving pain... does that make sense??